Did you say it?
by DigitalSunburn
Summary: Before Tony could even blink, Steve had his hands wrapped around his neck. Tony let out a strangled gasps, tears coming back, but Tony's was to busy staring wide eyed at Steve to get ride of them. Tony's heart was beating harshly against his chest. Panic was starting to over come the engineer and his vision was starting to go. (Not as violent as this makes it out to be) Stony


_I was always told as a child, if you love someone, tell them. Even if you're scared._

 _If you get a chance, take it._

 _'Cause it might all be gone tomorrow._

* * *

"Sir, Mr. Rodgers pulse is high. It appears he's-" JARVIS voice flowed through the workshops speakers, before the engineer cut him off.

"JARVIS," Tony coughed, a blush creeping its way up his cheeks, "The birds and the bees, remember?"

"Sir," JARVIS tried again, "Mr. Rodgers seems to be having a nightmare."

All colour drained from the brunets face, his heart stopping cold for a brief moment. Sure everyone has nightmare often, the team probably more then most. Their past always seeming to catch up to them at night. After the team had moved into his tower, and one destroyed bedroom later (Natasha), he had programmed JARVIS to monitor their brain waves (Of course with the permission of each team member) to alert him when one of them were 'to far gone' in their dream state, that it became a risk to their health and others around them.

They say that people are most dangerous when their not conscious. When they have no control over their actions. Now add a super soldier, a god, two assassins, and an Incredible Hulk into the mix.

So, the team thought it was best to be monitored when they slept. In case they did start through punches, or lightning.

"Oh, Ok-okay, I-I got this." Tony stuttered before running out of the workshop. He stopped, hesitating on whether or not to take the stairs or elevator. He decided the elevator would be better. It might take a few minutes longer, but if he were to take the stairs he'd be tired and drenched in sweat. The engineer knew he needed to save his strength to wake up the super soldier.

And boy, was Tony not looking forward to that. The brunet knew it would be painful. On both half. The elevator doors opened and with out needing to be told, Jarvis sent him up to Steve's floor.

Tony took a deep breath, bracing himself for when the doors open. He closed his eyes and forced himself to calm down. He was no help to Steve if he was to busy having a panic attack. The elevator chimed as the doors opened.

Tony knew the breath he let out was shaky, and his hands shook with fear, but the engineers head was leveled as he walked down to Steve's bedroom door and pushed it open right away. He knew if he paused, the chances of him going in were very slim.

The brunets eyes fell upon the super soldier. Steve was laying on his back, hands fisted in the sheets and his fingers were pure white. Tony's eyes traveled upwards until they reached Steve's face. The blond's lips were slightly parted as soft whimpers escape through them. His soft features are twisted in pain, as sweat covers his skin.

Tony stood in the doorway, mind racing through different ideas- and none of them include him getting out unharmed.

Slowly Tony inched his way to the bed. Giving a silent pray that Steve would wake up before he reached the king sized mattress. His pray goes unanswered as Steve still laid asleep. Tony grabbed one of Steve's shoes that laid at the foot of the bed, and tossed it onto the blonds chest. Nothing. It was like Steve was dead to the world.

And that worried Tony more the he'd admit. Steve usually would wake up at the sound of someone walking down the hallway.

Tony picked up the other shoe and aimed it towards Steve's head. The shoe hit it's target, which was actually the side of Steve's head. More so the ear than anything else. Again, nothing.

Tony sighed and cautiously walked to the top of the bed. Picking up the shoe that hit Steve's ear and tossed it onto the floor. Tony eyed the other shoe- that laid across the bed, having bounced of Steve's toned chest- and figured it was far enough away that he needn't move it.

Hesitantly he leaned over the blond and started whispering his name. When that didn't work, he started poking him. Still nothing. Sighing Tony gave a hard punch to Steve's shoulder. That seem to do the trick.

Steve's eyes opened, hands no longer holding the sheets in a death grip. Instead they started swinging through the air. Like he was punching invisible bad guys. One of Steve's hands ended up catching his own jaw. The angle was off and instead of a broken jaw, Tony heard one of the blonds fingers snap.

Steve's eyes were glazed and out of focus. And despite the reaction, the blond was still asleep, still dreaming.

Tony cursed we he realized that he made it worst. Now not only was Steve a danger to Tony, but now to himself.

Suddenly a stupid thought came to Tony's mind. A really stupid, stupid thought. But never the less the engineer still did it.

Sighing, Tony took of his shoes- no way in hell, he was going to risk them getting ruined- and climbed onto the bed and straddled Steve's torso. He quickly dodged Steve's wild punches. Nearly avoiding a blow to his head, but not quick enough to miss the one aimed to his ribs, but he was too high on adrenaline to feel the pain- or at least the full extent of it.

Tony gasped, he could feel tears prickling at the back of his brown eyes, but quickly blinked them away. He dodged another fist and was able to land a blow of his own to the side of Steve's jaw. Right where the blond had hit himself before.

Tony grunted and punched the corner of Steve's eye. And despite the punch, Steve's eyes stayed open. The brunet hissed when his knuckles started to get tiny cuts over them.

Tony was able to land five punches -the first couple already fading away- when Steve flipped him off, and crawled on top of him. Ending up in the same position, but with Tony under Steve.

Before Tony could even blink, Steve had his hands wrapped around his neck. Tony let out a strangled gasps, tears coming back, but Tony's was to busy staring wide eyed at Steve to get ride of them.

Tony's own hands came up and started trying to pry Steve's away. No amount of adrenaline could block out the pain of Steve choke hold. When Tony realized he couldn't move Steve's hands, he settled for scratching down Steve's arms, and even giving ones to the super soldiers face, back of the neck, and base of his collarbone.

Nothing worked. Tony's heart was beating harshly against his chest. Panic was starting to over come the engineer and his vision was starting to go.

Tony blinked his eyes open, tears escaping, and the brunet realized he must of past out. Their was a brief moment of peaceful silence, before screaming reached his ears.

Tony whimpered as the pressure around his neck tighten. Tony met Steve's glazed blue eyes. Shivering when they stared right past him.

A flash of red by the door caught his eyes. Turning his eye-sight towards the direction of the colour, his eyes fell upon his fellow team mates, and friends.

Natasha was staring wide eyed at them, screaming at Clint, who stood beside her. His eyes were dark, lips tighten unhappily, his bow held up in one hand, while the other held an arrow against the string.

They both new how strong Steve was, and he was even more dangerous when wasn't quite in control.

Tony recognized the arrow tip. It was one of the ones he had made for the archer. Tony couldn't quite tell which one it was, but he was able to pin it down to two different types; One was laced with some highly toxic poison from a rare spider- Thank you Natasha- and the second type was an explosive.

Tony hoped it was the first one. Because if Barton did decide to let go of the arrow. The poison wouldn't be enough to kill Steve -although it might knock him out for a while- Whereas the explosive would end up killing both men on the bed, and give Natasha and Clint some pretty fucking nasty injuries.

Tony met Clint's eyes and whimpered. The engineer was torn between begging Clint to let go of the arrow, and wanting Natasha to disarm the archer.

Tony gasped for air, one hand on top of Steve's, and the other clawing at the blonds arm. Leaving red raised marks behind.

Suddenly, as if a switch was turned on, Steve's eyes widen and he threw himself onto the other side of the bed. Leaving space for Tony to get up and run to the small bathroom. Natasha following after him.

"What, what, what... _Tony_?" Steve panted, looking at his hands and raised red angry cuts along his arms. He could hear Tony dry heaving in the bathroom, along with silent whispers from Natasha.

Steve took in a shaky breath and pushed himself to stand. He started making his way to the bathroom, but Clint blocked off his path. The archer kept distance between them. A bow held loosely by his side.

"Move Clint." Steve ordered, eyes challenging the other man.

Clint shook his head, "No can do, Cap."

"Clint," Steve glared, "I need to see if he's okay."

"I'll save you the trip. He's not." The archer replied dryly, his own glare set upon his face.

"Barton, I need to see him." Steve's shoulders dropped, and his Captain mode was gone. He was back to the scrawny Brooklyn kid. And Steve wished he was him again, that Steve would never have had enough strength to hurt Tony.

Clint must of noticed the change, because he step aside a little, his bow now slung over his shoulder. But the archers eyes were still on high alert.

"Tony please," Steve knocked on the bathroom door, his head against it, and voice breaking,

"Is he alright Natasha?" Steve listen as the gagging came to a stop, and heard Tony get up, his footsteps only making it a few steps before they stopped.

And Steve could hear Tasha silently whisper hushed words to Tony.

"I just need to know if he's alright." Steve begged, tears wielding up behind his eyes.

The door opened, but Steve kept his eyes on the floor. Afraid of what he'd fine if he looked up, "I'm so sorry."

"Look at me." Tony whispered.

Slowly Steve lift his head. Eyes roaming passed Tony oil stained t-shirt to the bruising on the brunets neck.

"I'm sorry. I-I..." Steve ducked his head once again. Tears spilling onto the wooden floor.

"Look at me." Tony demanded, voice no longer quite. Steve raised his head, and blue eyes met brown, "I'm fine. See?"

Steve shook his head, tears falling down his cheek, and the blond couldn't understand why he was the one crying.

"It's okay. You were asleep." Tony's voice started breaking,

"It's okay. Okay?" Tony pulled Steve into a hug. The blonds face tucked into Tony's neck. The brunet tried his best not to hiss when Steve pressed against his bruised neck.

"I'm sorry." The blonde muttered again, a hand cupping the back of Tony's neck, tears rolling of his cheeks and onto Tony's shirt.

Clint stood behind Steve, watching the pair. He shot a look over them to Natasha. She pressed her lips together tightly as she watched Tony as he kept chanting ' _it's okay_ 'into Steve's hair. And Natasha was convinced the words were more aimed to himself than to Steve.

* * *

 _I asked them, "How do you know if you're in love?"_

 _"You know you are in love when you can no longer imagine living your life without this person, and the idea of spreading the rest of time with them, is inviting, not terrifying."_

 _"Is that how it was for you?"_

 _"No my dear. Sometimes,sometimes you don't know until it's too late. When times stops and you think, 'Oh, maybe that was it.'."_

* * *

Natasha stormed into the workshop, shoulders back, and ready to knock some common sense into the engineer. It's been five hours since Steve had the nightmare, and Tony had disappeared to his workshop once Steve had fallen asleep again.

"You're wearing a turtleneck," Natasha stood in the middle of the room, arms crossed, "Turtlenecks aren't okay. _You're_ not okay."

"I think if I push back my adjustments on my suit, I could get Barton's arrows finished by tomorrow morning." Tony nodded to himself, a hand running over the feathers on one of the arrows.

"Rodgers wrapped his hands around your neck this morning. I'm sure Clint can wait a couple more days for his damn arrows."

"Oh, what if I did this?" Tony muttered to himself, pulling up a different blueprint.

Natasha growled, and walked over to the brunet.

She pinned him in between the desk and herself, "Tony you almost died. You're best friend tried to kill you-"

"Steve's not Obie." Tony barked, throwing his Iron Man mug across the room. It shattered. Shards of ceramic scattered across the workshops floor and hot coffee spilled everywhere.

"Get. Out."

"Tony..." Natasha's voice is uncomfortably soft.

" _Now_!" Tony yelled, tears streaming down his voice.

Natasha opened her mouth to say something, but thought better of it. Nodding she turned on her heels and left the workshop.

* * *

" _Will that happen to me?"_

 _"No, my dear, not as long as you tell them."_

* * *

"Is he doing okay?" Clint asked once she was out of the workshop.

Tony had tinted the windows as soon as she left.

"He says he is." Natasha responded.

"Do you believe him?"

"No, not at all." She sighed, running a hand down her face.

Clint gave her a sad nod, he glanced behind him when he heard footsteps running down the stairs, he cursed and gave Natasha a nudge, "Heads up."

Natasha stood at the bottom of the stairs, blocking them off. Steve came to a halt, he looked down at her. His hair was spiked up in awful places, his eyes still heavy with sleep, and Natasha guessed he had just woken up and came straight here.

All three of them were silent, casting glances at each other.

"Please, Tasha, tell me if he's okay." His voice was rough, and eyes pleading.

But Natasha remained silent.

Steve closed his eyes and sagged in defect.

"Okay..." The blond whispered before walking back up stairs. Natasha sighed and closed her eyes.

"You okay, Tasha?" Clint asked drawing her into his side. The red head shook her head and Clint nodded, "Me too."

* * *

 _"So... how do you say it?"_

 _"Telling some one you love them, isn't always necessarily, 'I love you.' It could be a simple, 'I need you.' or 'You changed my life.' It could be many things, even actions."_

 _"Did you ever tell that person you loved them?"_

 _"I did."_

 _"What did you say?"_

 _"I don't want to live my life without you."_

* * *

"I'm worried about you Stark." Clint sighed sitting on Tony's desk chair, giving it a spin.

It's been twenty-four hours since Steve had the nightmare, since he almost killed Tony, and Clint had entered the workshop, via vent.

"Did you hit your head when you where crawling in my vents, Barton?"

Clint sighed again. The arched stood up crossed the room to stand beside Tony, arms touching, "He chocked you."

"Spare me the lecture." Tony growled, quick to close the page that he had opened on his tablet. But the archer was able to catch a glimpse of it.

 _Treatments for Chronic Nightmares_

"It takes a strong person to fight someone else battles before their own," The archer didn't have elaborate, they both knew what he was talking about. Who he talking about,"You're a strong man Stark. But I'm afraid that strengths going to kill you. You need to take care of yourself Tony."

Tony froze, clenching his fists tightly, his own little private mantra of, ' _Steve's not Obie_.' playing inside his head.

Tony shook his head and walked pass Clint and out of his workshop. Not sparing a glance back. He was to tired to deal with this shit. He just wanted to grab a cup of coffee, then sleep and forget any of this happened.

Tony rounded the corner to the kitchen and froze when he saw Steve digging out stuff to make a sandwich, from the fridge. Tony took an small, quite, step back, but of course Steve's super enchanted hearing heard the movement and the blond glanced up. Eyes widening when he saw Tony.

A dense silence fell upon the two like fog.

"Haven't seen you all day," Tony said pulling at the sleeves of the itchy turtleneck, never one for silence, "I thought for sure you'd come and see me in my workshop. But..."

"What if I hadn't woken up?" Steve asked, eyes glued onto the window behind Tony.

"I would never hurt you, ever." Steve finally met Tony's eyes, "But I did. My hands just... Wrapped around your neck-"

"But you did wake up." Tony pointed out, cutting him off, moving until he was right in front of the blond, "Stop blaming yourself for something that is out of your control."

Steve shook his head, tears forming, and voice breaking, "I have to move out,"

"What? No," Tony stepped back in shock, "Not happening."

"Tony I almost-"

"But you didn't." Tony cut him off, cupping Steve's cheek trying to get him to understand.

Steve closed his eyes. Tears falling down his cheeks. He brought a hand up, placing it on top of Tony's. Steve pressed his face farther into Tony's palm. Savoring the warm and closeness.

Steve shook as a sob escaped his throat. He pressed his lips together tightly and pressed a small kiss into the inside of Tony's wrist, before pulling away.

"I can't." Steve whispered, pulling back all the way. Fingers sliding over Tony's as their hands separated.

 _Did you say it?_

And Tony stood frozen, in the middle of his kitchen, watching the man he loved, leave.

 _'I don't want to live my life without you.'_

His brain screamed at him to run after Steve, but his legs didn't obey. Instead they buckled, his body falling to the kitchen floor, a wrecked scream escaping past his lips.

 _'I love you'_

And down the hallway, Steve had to brace himself against the wall. Nails digging into the soft flesh of his palm, blood pooling around the tips of his finger, but the blond couldn't care less.

 _Did you say it?_

 _'Cause it might be all gone tomorrow._


End file.
